Counting Hours

                Recent steps forward include a good practice last week, and me really looking forward to practice again tomorrow evening. Last Thursday, there were two other girls brand-spankin’ new to derby, like myself (named Sara and Amanda). Plus we were fortunate enough to have a huge amount of people there- about 21 ladies on skates, including trainers, and one woman from Turn Two Skate Shop in Maine! It was really fun to skate with girls on my level, and to have so many experienced women to generously give us direction. We practiced single knee falls, standing on one foot, pre-transition stepping to turn around 180°, and then that pre-transition stepping 360°.

            We also practiced double knee falls, or as I like to think of this particular maneuver, “The Rockstar,” since you’re supposed to be leaning back with knees and legs wide apart so you don’t accidentally stick your skate up your butt. (If you’re into that, more power to you, but I think derby is the wrong environment for intentional insertion.) I am really, really bad at these. Plus I (while the other new girls were getting their feet wet) started to try to put one foot out in front of the other to try to aim towards crossovers. I am really bad at these, but possibly not as bad at these as I am at the double knee falls. I think it’ll take a few more weeks to master these skills, but I look forward to trying again soon, and at least getting my first unintentional crossover fall out of the way.

            I feel like that’s always a step for me. I’m going to fall a lot, on purpose and by accident. Most of the new things I learn, I will eventually fall down while I’m doing. I kind of want to get all of my first falls out of the way to help reduce the "fear" of falling. Like with everything else derby-skills-related, it will all happen in time and with effort. For example, I feel like I wasn’t sore enough after this derby practice, and so I’d like to make more of an effort to stay lower when I’m in stance tomorrow. I will definitely spend at least a little time this week on those crossover pre-steps, and on those double knee falls.

There were also a few girls there taking their [insert scary music here] Level One Assessments. Big congratulations to them, as everyone I saw was working hard, staying low, and keeping their heads in the game! It was great to get a sneak peek at the real skills I’m working towards. Crossovers, toe stops, jumps and hops- if I wanted the skills extravaganza, I certainly came to the right practice.

            I can’t go backwards yet. This might seem pretty “duh” to everyone, but it looks so fun, and I keep feeling impatient about it. At least I can plow stop now. I can’t T-stop yet- but using plow stops, at my second practice ever I was able to stop for the first time, on purpose, and without hitting the floor or wall. I mean, I’m still like a baby giraffe up on those things, but I have to give it time. (Remind me if you see me getting frustrated with myself out there.) The other week, I was so sore after practice that I couldn't walk up and down the stairs except sideways clutching the railing like an elderly woman, for two days. There's got to be an in-between- sore enough to know I worked hard, and yet still capable of engaging in my everyday activities.

           I think I'm much more prepared for my discomfort now, at least. During the skating, it's my lower back, my entire "Tramp Stamp" area. After? It's pretty much everything, back and legs. I think once I get the hang of engaging my core more, it'll be the abs, too. But I have tiger balm, Aleve, Advil, Tylenol, lavender-scented Epsom salts, and peas in the freezer. Bring it, body.

           On a significantly more downer note. I debated about whether or not to discuss this but I want to be as honest as possible about my experience and where I am on my derby journey. I mentioned in my last post that I’m out of shape. I did not include detail, but I am overweight, and not insignificantly so. While I know health and fitness are long-term goals, I still had a rough end of the week, when I hopped on my scale and had basically gained ten pounds. Yes, I know, it’s most likely me building thigh muscle; muscle is heavier than fat; the muscle will help boost my metabolism in the long run by helping me burn more calories.

            But that doesn’t change the feeling I get when I see the number on the scale. That doesn’t change the way my heart drops and I get discouraged. Shaking it off and getting my head back in the game does not come naturally to me. It takes effort, and more than that, it takes a conscious choice every day. I am making that choice for myself today, and I can tell you, I'm more than likely to make it tomorrow. I just really want to see myself making that choice next week, if/when it happens again and I'm feeling disheartened.

            I don’t want to exercise myself out like crazy today and head into derby tomorrow already too sore. So I am going to be patient so that tomorrow night I can kick my butt on skates for as many of those three hours as I can make it to. It’s another crappy night where I have to leave right from work just to make it onto skates at all. I wish this were easier- but at least, having practice Tuesday means I can go to adult skate on Thursday near my house, and log more hours on the track. I wish myself luck...

W00T!

The following w00t was delayed due to unscheduled late-night celebration. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Last night I passed my Level 1 assessment. W00t.

It was unexpected, so much so that when Bettie came over to No Name Erica and I, I thought we were in trouble for something (Bettie has a good poker face). Allow me to recap the back story...

Two and a half weeks ago we had our assessments (second time around for me). I passed everything EXCEPT crossovers. The feedback I received was that they're there, but I get fatigued quickly (which is true), and when I'm fatigued my cross-overs get clunky (not cool). So Erica and I were told that we were "mere practices away".

Cool. Because there wasn't really anything we could do in the freshie corral that would help us, Bettie and Empress allowed us to participate in light contact (booty blocking, leaning, etc) drills.

Last night I was warming up on the track (actually inside the rope!) and I was doing crossovers and not even thinking about it. They felt good. Stable. Effortless. The very first drill we did after warm ups was a transitioning drill which always makes me feel completely inept because, at the moment, I can't do them. Period. I paired up with Indigo (another freshie) and we tried to stay off to the side and work on them while standing in place. I think I've figured out part of my problem (I'm turning the wrong way) and plan to test my theory on the apartment complex tennis court on Sunday.

We did some drills working on lateral movement. I know I need to work on my agility. I think that as my endurance improves that the agility will partially come along with it. We did a basic drill where we had to move quickly to the inside and outside of the track using a single, quick crossover.

The next drill was kind of cool... we grouped up in fives - one jammer and four blockers. Only one blocker was active, the other three were zombie opposing blockers. The active blocker had to push her way through the zombie blockers to hit the jammer coming up on the outside. The jammer would then drop back and come up on the inside and the blocker would have to push through the zombie pack again. I got Grace with a shoulder check that pushed her out of bounds (and unfortunately me as well). I joke with her for the rest of the evening that she was my "first".

Later we did a booty blocking drill in groups of three - two blockers and a jammer - which was a basic, get around the pair of blockers drill. We're so big that we had to divide in half to fit everyone on the track. I was in the first group to skate and I went with Bash and Ethel. I accidentally clocked Bash in the face with a flying elbow :-(

After we finished it was our turn to go to the middle for workout-type stuff. I knew I had worked hard tonight because my pigtails were drenched. I have sooooo much to learn yet on the contact side but I felt like it was a pretty good night. As we were getting up, Bettied came over and crooked her finger at Erica and I (this is where I thought we were in trouble). When we skated over a big smile spread across her face and she said. "Congratulations, you have passed your level ones!".

I, of course, released a "squee" and gave her a big icky workout hug. Then Erica and I gave each other a hug. Then I skated over to Empress and said, "I would give you a hug but I'm icky" and she said, "oh please, like I'm not" and gave me a hug. :-D I'm smiling as I type this remembering the feeling.

To some people, level 1's are not a big deal - they're easy. To me they were not. It took me four months and fifteen days to pass. I have gone from a completely non-athletic couch potato who hadn't skates since age 8 or so to being cleared for contact. To quote Mr. Vice President, "This is a big %(&$ing deal!".

I need to keep in mind that I have now gone from being a big fish in a small pond to being a teeny tiny fish in a big pond and I have a LOT to learn. I have been pushed out of the nest for my own good and am now forced to fly on my own.

I wanted to take a minute to reflect on some of the goals I've mentioned throughout this blog that I've now achieved:
1) Skate through an entire practice without dropping out of a drill.
2) Force myself to skate on the track, even though I am slow.
3) Skate over the damn rope.
4) Stretch more - this one is debatable. I did really well for a while but lately I haven't been doing my extra stretching.
5) Good form - this one is also debatable. I'm doing better than I was but I'm still getting back cramping when doing longer drills that require low derby stance.

New goals
1) Work on transitions whenever there is down time and on my own.
2) Force myself to do crossovers every single lap of a sprint, even if I'm not going that fast.
3) Skate for five minutes straight regardless of laps (I'll have to time myself).
4) Be eligible for teaming by the beginning of next season.

I think my biggest hurdles as I look ahead to level 2's will be transitions/turning toe stops and the endurance component. Everything else I am confident that I will pick up during the coming months.

Thank you for sticking with me on this one. Thank you to everyone who has given me advice or encouragement along the way. I know this is just the first stop on a long road trip but I really wanted to thank the people who helped me get this far in the first place. Sometimes it felt like I would never make it.

Even though I am technically no longer considered a freshie now, let the journey continue! :-D

Close but no cigar

Apparently fairgrounds in the 19th century would give out cigars as prizes for winning a game. If you came close but didn't quite win, no cigar for you! Think Soup Nazi but about 100 years earlier. That sums up my evening well.

I got to Roby around 6ish and put my gear on slowly. It is a skating rink in the winter and a fairly smooth cement surface once the ice melts. It had mostly dried out after yesterday's monsoon. It was a crazy crazy day and I was mentally out of it tonight.

I skated around a few laps and did some scissors and figure eights. The surface was smoother than I was expecting but it still gave a lot of resistance to stops and slides. I think I'll be coming here often this summer.

Empress and Bettie showed up just before 6:30 and got everything ready for the level ones. We had some warm up and stretching time and Empress did some really nice visualization stuff. Unfortunately whatever I gained from my visualization I shattered by making the doom noise to myself when they said we'd be doing crossovers first.

I think it was tough for me, knowing that was the one thing I needed to work on. Granted, I'm glad we did it at the beginning rather than the end because by the end of the night I was pooped. I guess it was good to get that out of the way. It made everything else way stress free.

Empress and Bettie both told me during the drill that I was close. After we did the balance drill (which I did a million times better than last time) Empress said that it was a technical issue and not a balance issue.

We did all the rest of the level one stuff... sticky skates, slides, stops, stepping. Neisha left some of her butt on the Roby Park surface during baseball slides - ouch! It took some time to get accustomed to not sliding so much but I think everything generally went well.

After the assessment finished, Empress pulled myself, Chuck, and Erica aside. We were the borderline people for, you guessed it, crossovers! She took some time watching and skating with each of us. Chuck ended up passing (yay Chuck!).

Empress and Bettie talked to each of us afterward and they hit the nail on the head with me. My issue is not balance, it's fatigue. My legs, especially my left one, are not quite strong enough yet to be able to sustain massive amounts of cross-overs. What that means is I can do them, but I get tired quickly. When I get tired I get clunky. When I'm clunky I'm vulnerable to hits. Totally understandable.

They said, and I asked if I could quote them, that the two of us "are mere practices away" from passing. That really gives me a renewed send of hope and drive for the next couple of weeks. I want this so badly. I want to progress so that family and friends can come and watch me. It feels like reaching for the finish line in slow-mo.

We've also been cleared to skate with the league unless they're doing crazy hardcore hitting. With leaning or booty blocking we can participate which is really cool. Until we officially pass, if the rest of the freshies are doing stops and slides we'll be out with the league. Scary but very cool and it sort of gives a fresh level of personal responsibility for our success. As Bettie and Vicious said earlier today, once you pass, that's it - you're out of the nest and we need to be even more responsible for our own success and/or failure.

So a big giant huge congrats to everyone who passed. Hopefully I'll be joining you shortly. To those who didn't, fuggeddaboudit! Well, don't really forget, but you know what I mean. The feedback that we're all provided gives us things to focus on in the coming weeks and months.

As Empress likes to remind me, on my very first practice I couldn't get up off the floor, even with Bettie and Hazel's help (thanks to some of those hardcore plyometrics). To put that in perspective, Bettie said that I did my single knee slide recovery in two seconds - the level two standard. If you'd have told me on day one that I'd do that five months later I don't know if I'd have believed you. I know that even when I do pass that I have a lot of challenges ahead of me for level twos- chiefly, transitions/turning-toe stops and the 25 in 5. Doing transitions is something that I can drive my butt to Roby for and practice all on my own.

Thank you to all of the training staff and especially to Bettie and Empress for making assessments a really positive and encouraging environment. I know what I need to do and am ready to seriously push it. I'll be rockin' the ankle weights at work tomorrow!

Assessments and other musings...

Warning: I am going to ramble. There are a lot of derby-flavored things on my mind tonight so it will all come out in a likely incomprehensible order while I eat some beef stroganoff (YUM!).

So we freshies have hit our 8-practice mark (yay us!). This means it's assessment time. I'm a little apprehenvises because I *want* to do well but I know there are a couple of things I still struggle with (balancing on my right foot, T-stopping with my left foot, getting off the ground in 3 seconds, etc). Transitions also fall into the "bane of my existence" category but that's a level 2 skill.

I'm trying to stay positive - "Do or do not. There is no try" and all that but I know that I'm going to run into some challenges. It's difficult to think positive while mentally/emotionally preparing yourself for the possibility that I might not pass on the first go. The competitive bitch in my wants to do EVERYTHING on the first try but it doesn't always work that way and I need to make sure I'm ok with that.

That being said, I double checked with Empress tonight and she said that she or Vicious will talk us through the results of the entire assessment afterward so that's really helpful for me. I feel like I've gotten a LOT of encouragement (thank you, by the way) but not all that much constructive criticism so I'm really looking forward to the "review" bit.

Pause. God I love this Beef Stroganoff recipe. Rachel Ray *actual* 30-minute meal that is fabulously easy and super yummy.

One of the toughest things for me to get used to/deal with is the fact that I currently feel like I'm going through life with one of those marshmallow-man snow suits little kids wear permanently bonded to my body. I wasn't always this size. In my head I feel like I should just be able to unzip this fat suit, step out, and everything will be fabulous. Yet another thing that doesn't quite work that way in practice.

I *know* this will help me lose weight and I *know* it will get better but, as usual, I'm impatient. I was describing trying to do crossovers to L-Train today. It quite literally feels like I have pillows welded to the insides of my legs. It's not that I have clunky knee pads or anything, it's literally that my legs get in the way. I can do them (crossovers) but they feel clunky and awkward.

Progress is being made though. I think I mentioned last post that the first time we had endurance week, I was a puddle of cooked spaghetti that couldn't get up off the ground, despite Bettie and Hazel's help. This week, it still takes me a bit to get up but I *can* get up so hooray for small victories. This was also another practice without substantial back pain. I don't think I've seen the last of it but I'm hoping that I'm doing something right.

Pause. Lick stroganoff plate before the cats get to it.

I am amazed on a nearly daily basis how many people are interested in roller derby. I was at an offsite work meeting today and we had to say one interesting thing about ourselves. While there are lots of interesting/quirky/weird things about me (saved for another blog or ask me on facebook) I decided to say that I am learning to play roller derby since, looking at me, it's something somewhat unexpected.

At lunch time, I had a group of about three or four people from the meeting sit with me and ask me non-stop questions about derby. One older woman said she used to love watching it in the 70's and 80's and had no idea people were still doing it. "I would love to see a game!" Insert pimping of our first home bout in April. I ended up explaining everything I knew about it from the basics of the game to how we get assessed for safety purposes. The people I was talking to couldn't get enough. The more I told them, the more interested they were.

Looking at it from a marketing perspective there is massive potential out there to not only increase our number of skaters and volunteers but to grow our fan base by miles. It has me thinking of what could be done to raise awareness of roller derby as a sport and then pull the multitudes of intrigued people into our lovely world and get them hopelessly hooked. I will have to ask the old stinky meat if we have any sort of "roller derby basics" flyer on hand at bouts for the uninitiated. If not, I would love to design/write something like that. I think that people will be more likely to come back if they knew what was going on during the bouts.

Again, I tend to get really wound up about ideas and get carried away. Derby just has me TOTALLY excited and I want to help other people get totally excited too. That was why I joined the PR Department. Since I can't stop talking about derby, I may as well put my mouth to good use!