How I got here

As I walked into Roller Kingdom on Monday night I found myself reflecting on how I got to this place. I was excited - I had been practicing to get ready for this day for three months. I was also terrified - what if they all think the fat chick on skates is a complete loser? I've never been one to shy away from new things but this was a whole different category of new...

At one point in my life I was in pretty decent shape. I was in the NH Army National Guard for six years and - I'll say it - when I got our of basic training I was smokin'. Ten years, a marriage, a divorce, two college degrees, a job I hated, a slight video game addiction, a new marriage and a (stressful) job I like later I'm not so smokin'. In fact, I have been desperately searching for the thing that would help me break out of my substantially heavier funk.

I'd tried a couple of different "hobbies" to change things up but none of them really worked for me... until I saw the poster: NH Roller Derby - Last Home Bout of the Season! hanging up at work. Roller Derby? Like WWF on wheels, THAT roller derby? People actually do that? Cool! It wasn't until I came across an article on CNN about a 53-year old librarian who started doing roller derby. It was an awesome article about the action, the derby personas, the fitness aspect, and the camaraderie of roller derby.

I was hooked. I spent about an hour or two reading through all of the skater profiles on the NH Roller Derby website. I spent another hour or two watching derby videos on You Tube. The NHRD website said that they held information nights the first Friday of every month at Roller Kingdom - that rink that I'd driven past a million times and never gone in. It so happens that the first Friday of September was only a few days away.

Before I could start this potentially new and exciting journey I wanted to get my family on board. The first person I told was my husband (henceforth known in this Blog as "Ian" until I have a derby name, at which point he will become "Mr. Xxxxxxxxx"). "But won't you get hurt?" he said. "Yes, I probably will. You wear protective gear and stuff but you're bound to get whacked in the face eventually (on accident, of course)." "You seem really excited about this" "I am, I think. It could be completely and totally awesome!". He's happy when I'm happy so he was on board.

I sent my mum an email from work with a link to the NHRD site and the text "I think I would probably really enjoy this. Might go to recruitment night Friday". I was expecting resistance but amazingly enough, I didn't get any. Of course, like any mom, she's worried about me getting hurt but she also said after reading through the site, "That sounds like something right up your alley." Competition: check. Theatricality: check. A smidge of violence: check. Socializing with awesome people in person: check. Getting in shape and having fun while I do it: check.

I told my dad when we were out to dinner for my little brother's 25th birthday. "Roller Derby? Really?" "Yeah, dad... but it's different now than it was in the 70's. It's actually a legit sport!" "Aren't you afraid of getting hurt?" "Not really... I survived basic training and I got hurt there." Now - I might not be saying that once I'm cleared for contact, but I'm at least going in KNOWING that I'll be intimately acquainted with the floor in short order. No further resistance from the paternal side. Cleared for takeoff.

Ian and I were coming back north from checking out New England's very first Sonic in Peabody on the first Friday of September. We pulled into a very full Roller Kingdom parking lot and went inside to be greeted by swarms of screeching teeangers - apparently Fridays are "Teen Nights" (note to parents: do you have any idea what your 15-year-olds are WEARING???). Loud pop music I'd never heard before was blasting through the giant speakers. We were pretty convinced that we were the oldest people in the rink.

I was terrified. I don't get nervous often about things and when I do I hide it pretty well. I was doing a pretty crappy job that night. I put my rental skates on and attempted a lap on the rink. It was a disaster. It felt like I was trying to skate through sand. I assumed I was the problem since I hadn't been on quad skates since the days of Girl Scout outings to Happy Wheels in Merrimack. I couldn't skate - how ridiculously embarrassing! I swapped the quads for rollerblades to see if that was any better - marginally so, but derby isn't played on inline skates!

We sat down at the end of the rink by the snack bar where I could take the cursed rental skates off and watched people skate. I spotted someone in an NHRD tank top who was wearing knee pads - She must be a derby person! I searched the rink for an NHRD banner or sign or anything to let me know where the "official derby people" were. Nothing. So I continued to watch with a nervous look on my face - try to pay attention to where the "derby lady" was sitting. AHA! About halfway up the right hand side.

Having gone completely weak-kneed I managed to move to a table a few down from where the derby person was sitting. I couldn't skate (or so I thought)... they were going to laugh at me and think I was a big, fat loser for even wanting to try. Yeah, the website said that your level of fitness and skating skills don't matter, they'll train you; but I figured they were just saying that to be nice. Ian said, "Well... are you going to go talk to them or are we going to sit here all night?"

Good point. I stood up and inched my way toward the table where the derby people (more had shown up that looked like they knew each other) were sitting. One of them looked over at me and smiled and I took that as my opening, "Is this the NH Roller Derby recruitment group?" She smiled again and said it was but that I needed to talk to "Petunia" - the person sitting down at the table next to me.

Yikes! Here we go! Still freaking out nervous. SHe asked how I heard about the league and I told her that I worked with someone on the league - only she didn't know who they were at first because I used her real name! Meep! After explaining all the basics to me she said, "Our next join date is actually tomorrow. Did you want to start?" MEEP!!! All that was running through my head was my experience on the rental skates a little while earlier. "Erm... I don't know if I'm ready to start tomorrow. I don't have any gear and I'm really out of practice." I needed more time to think. "Well, our next join date is January. We do it every few months so you have a group of new people to start with." Ok, January is good. I can do that. "Are you going to stay and skate with us?" MEEP!!! I made some excuse about having to be somewhere to hide my terror at having to non-skate in front of these derby rock stars.

In early October I was given the gift of a derby gear package for an early birthday present. Riedell Vixens with Flat Outs, Protec Pads, and a Triple 8 helmet. I had three months to make myself at least presentable on skates. One my very first loop around the rink at an open skate I fell flat on my ass in from of this dad and his little girl. Ow tailbone. I got back up and kept trying to skate. I realized that some of my September fail had been the crappy rental skates. I definitely needed to work on my balance though.

For the next few months I made sure I was at 2-3 open skates a week. By the time I left for a vacation in England in December I could skate reasonably well, stop, and was starting to get comfortable with cross-overs. W00t. Now it was just a matter of waiting until the 4th. That Monday also happened to be Ian's first day at his new job. The timing was going to be interesting. He picked me up at work and we got home by 5:30. "Do you want to watch an episode of Lost before you go?" I should have said "no" but I didn't.

We watched an episode and I ask what time it was. "6:30". Shit. I was still in "civilian clothes". Double shit. I was supposed to be in North Tyngsboro in 15 minutes. Triple shit. I've moved faster that I have since probably basic training. Got dressed, grabbed my gear bag (inconveniently leaving my drying wrist guards in the living room), and drove like the wind. I did NOT want to be late to my very first practice. I screeched in to the parking lot, grabbed by gear, and walked into Roller Kingdom, thinking about how I got to this place...